Tech and Children

Personal Opinions on how we want to manage tech 

After discussing with Ajey and also seeing friends who are able to implement these techniques that they recommend, we have come with a plan for ourself. 

Before that some reasoning into why these rules:

- There are friends and family who freely allow their kids to use tech as needed. There are some folks who find other ways to engage the child. There is no perfect way and some friends believe usage ebbs and falls and there's no need for rules. 

- Rigid rules don't work. Especially in a pandemic, when there's no school / support system , it's hard to engage a kid and parents can get tired.

- Even with all this, we want to try our best - first in improving what we are and model for the kid, and second to only introduce tech slowly and in timed intervals. 

So here's our plan - for every evolving stage of a kid's life our strategy will evolve too, but for now here's some starter thoughts

1. What the child sees us do

- We will be working from 9 to 5, and we will be striving towards a work schedule that respects this time frame. At work, when we take breaks is when we will do our digital consumption. Our kid needs to know we use tech for a purpose and at a certain time.
- We spoke about putting it a draw but AJ was not comfortable not hearing a call, so we decided against that.
- We will not bring the phone to the bed. 
- On our daily walk, the phone can be used a communication tool aka a call, but otherwise no browsing and phone will be back in our pockets.
- If we had a really hard day at work and need to chill, we will give ourselves half an hour to browse.
- Video games timed to less than an hour and 15 minutes during weekend/Friday.
- For me specifically, I'm going to keep a time boxed for just browsing and a time boxed for just checking whatsapp
- No social media after 5.

- Being mindful of what is necessary for the baby and putting the phone away.

2. Device of choice

We decided we will keep calls and learning and fun limited / cast to a TV and not to a device that can be held in a hand. 

A friend of mine was able to follow the same successfully. During the pandemic, they had to introduce a chromebook / ipad sometimes but that was healthy use. 

At restaurants if child is wild, yes a phone is given to distract the child.

At road trips, it's just music and rhymes to engage the child , no videos. And food is mostly to-go. Restaurants are avoided during road trips.

3. How to engage the child

- While the pandemic is not there, we want to join mommy and me classes once a week, so we learn from experts and other parents on what we need to keep tab of and learn things we can do with the baby.

- We want to continue our routine of walk everyday, with the dog, and now with a stroller baby. And of course, no tech during this time.

- We want to introduce a night time routine of either singing / reading for sleep.

- We want to finish our walk by 6 and between then and dinner, engage the child in either reading /writing / drawing or whatever activity we can find for her for one hour.

- In the weekends we want to be out somewhere - park / rides / beach / play gym and if not a pandemic, in the library enrolled ahead for books and activities.

- Before 6 months, engaging is probably just going to be about skin-to-skin and feeding and whatever we can do humanly rather than cognitive activities.

- Once I transition to work, I will need a good nanny (less expensive , more personal) Or a good day care (very expensive, many activities and social interaction) so the baby can be engaged. There should be no tech involved and it should not be just about keeping an eye / feeding. It should be about engaging the baby.

- Maybe online classes / storytelling.

4. Rules for people outside Ajey and me on what is important for the baby

- For the first one year, we want to get to as stable and consistent of a sleep schedule and feeding routine. For this we need quietness in the home. We need baby to be allowed to sleep in between feedings. TV inside with TV volume down OR baby inside the room. 

- Washing hands.

- The home, kitchen and bathroom should be clean.

- No smoking 

- My diet during feeding is important.

- Our budget is important so we can save for the baby - so expenses have to be done thoughtfully. Room in the apartment like all parents do.

- We will still need a nanny. 

5. Thoughts on social media presence / popularity for children / consent / privacy

TBD